Jason Powell

Humans are social animals, and no social event is probably more important to us than eating together.  We’ve done it for millenia out of necessity.  The hunters and gatherers hunted and gathered as a group, and it was easiest to prepare and share that food as a group, too.  In my imagination, those shared meals might’ve even brought about other defining activities of being human like music and story.  When would’ve been a better time to share those skills than when everyone’s together after dinner?

If eating is the most basic function for maintaining life (or one of the most basic), then it’s simple to see why it would be such a bonding social event for us.  First dates, weddings, and holidays, there’s not many times we get together that food isn’t one of the principal parts of those gatherings.  Get two or more people together, and somebody’s going to want to eat.

We live in a society of comforts where just about anything can be outsourced, and we outsource food more than anything else.  By outsource, I mean going to a restaurant.  Burger King, or a local fine dining establishment, they all amount to outsourcing your dinner.  Or, at least, the preparation and presentation of it (and the clean up, of course).  I’m not against all the comforts of a modern society, but the downside to outsourcing something is we often start outsourcing that thing all the time, and we eventually don’t know how to perform that skill.  Think about how many people you know who’d need a little guidance on just scrambling an egg.

Sure, even if you eat every meal out you can still get the socializing benefits in as you sit at the table together and let someone else take care of the dirty work.  We spend more time on our jobs and watching television these days, so why not narrow it down to the good part?  Well, if you know some basics of cooking, it’s not hard to learn to cook “healthy,” and we all know you can save a lot of money, too.  It’s the social part that interests me, though, and I believe the rituals we inherit and create around cooking and sharing a meal are what we lose when we eat out(sourced).

I put on a Beatles CD or turn on a local radio station before digging in the fridge.  If I’m about to make dinner, I probably open a hefeweizen or pour a glass of Cabernet.  I’m just a mediocre cook, but I enjoy the hell out of it.  When the food’s ready, I set the table.  A couple of candles and a hurricane lamp, and if I’m out to impress, I can garnish the table with fresh fruits in less than five minutes.  My girlfriend isn’t impressed anymore with a candlelit dinner and music, by the way.  I can do this any night of the week, and do.  That’s not to say she doesn’t enjoy it–she does.  There’s nothing difficult or expensive about this.  Making a table or plate look nice can be learned in five minutes, and my dishes mostly come from Target.  The silver candle holders and the lamp all came from Goodwill.  If you do have nice china and flatware, break ‘em out, use them often.  This stuff doesn’t get its meaning from its price tag, it comes from use, and the same goes for your cookware.  I use my grandparents’ cast iron often, and I enjoy that association.

The names of our inherited recipes get preceded by that person’s name.  ”Mom’s french toast.”  We tie identity into the composition and act of creating a food, and it never fails to evoke the memories and feelings we associate with it.  There’s more than one dish I make that I picked up from my brother, probably the best cook I know (or anyone else who’s ever had a meal prepared by him).  I like to think he gets the ritual, and I’m certain he knows how quickly people think of his cooking when they think of him.

Besides just reclaiming the enjoyment of preparing and sharing food, I think all of the nuisances in the process put us into the state of mind to enjoy the social benefit of it all.  When a nice looking, homemade dish goes on the table, with the atmosphere of music, candle light, or whatever else makes it special for you is in place, enjoying time together has a lot more meaning.

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